There is no right or wrong way to grieve. I learned this and continue to learn this through my journey. The loss of a baby is traumatic. My emotions were all over the place and I had every right to feel whatever I was feeling at the time. I hope and pray that some of these tips that I share will comfort you and help you through this time. These are some of the most powerful ways to help cope with grief after stillbirth that certainly helped me.

So I want you to know that it is ok to grieve however it soothes or heals your soul. But please do so in a healthy way! 

Some of the things that I did and continue to do are quite simple but they helped a great deal within the moment. I really hope and pray that this blesses and comforts you.

Talking to Family 

Find someone that doesn’t mind you talking aimlessly about your feelings and thoughts. For me, that was my Mom, Husband, Dad, and Grandfather I am sure there were others but no matter when it was these folks always came to mind.

Talk openly about your baby

At first, when time passed I thought It was a burden for others to keep hearing me talk about our baby OVER and OVER AGAIN. Mainly to strangers or others who I did not normally confide in. I got to the point where I did not care what they thought. Talking about her helped with my therapy and remembrance of her was even more of an importance to me.

Listen to Music 

At first, every single Gospel song that came on I wept. But after some time….few weeks it was therapy for my soul. 

Go Outside For Fresh Air

There were moments that I wanted to just get out of the house for a breather. Not too far or long just for a moment. I would sit on the porch, in silence watching nature. 

Found A Hobby

This may take some time. And please take your time! I found a hobby and now I have too many hobbies that it tough to juggle them all. Years later I found myself making videos on my YouTube channel. I learned about Paper planning and crafting that I really enjoy!

Used Social Media

I journaled my thoughts on Facebook. This really helped me! I normally post how I was currently feeling. I think it was mainly to get my thoughts out and that made me feel better. Although looking back I would have just continued to journal my thoughts and feelings in a notebook. Nevertheless, support from others was very supportive and needed.

Journaled My Thoughts

Whether it was on social media, a notebook or a blog it helped. My husband sat down and started a blog for me to express my thoughts. I can not find that blog for the life of me but I am grateful for him helping me.

Went To Church

Going to church helped me renew my soul. A place to receive Hope, Healing, and Strength. Also, a public place where it was safe to cry, cry and cry some more (my thoughts then, now I cry whenever and wherever I feel like shedding a tear or tears.)

Making Sure I was healthy

when I was ready I made sure to go to my doctor’s, dental appointments, follow-ups, etc. We did not have a reason for the loss of our baby so it was important that I remained healthy mentally and physically.

Find A Support Group

When we left the hospital I was equipped with many resources to seek counseling to go to a support group. I strongly suggest that you go to find a group! There is strength in numbers and the support of like-minded people comforting each other is so much healing for the soul.

Therapy Is Needed

This was something that I did not do right away. I actually had to have therapy for Weight Loss Surgery PreOp years later and the session was so helpful with our baby loss years ago. If therapy is available to you, schedule an appointment today!! You will not be disappointed. More healing!!

More things I did to help heal my heart and soul

Spend time with your family

Watch a movie

Light a candle

Turn your diffuser on

Talk a walk

Do Something that Makes You Happy

I know at first you don’t want to do anything. Even eating may seem to be too much. Just take one moment a time, one day at a time and do what makes you feel better during this time. 

I will say a little prayer for anyone who reads this. That God gives you Mercy, Grace, and Peace to carry you, Mommy.

Here are is more resources that will certainly help during this time. 

Dealing with grief after the death of your baby – March of Dimes

Is there a right way to grieve? – Stillbirthfoundation.org

Stillbirth: Surviving Emotionally – American Pregnancy Association 

Coping with grief after the loss of a baby – Tommys.org